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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26495086">Joke Noir: The misadventures of mr J. and Sophie Dumond</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sif/pseuds/Sif'>Sif</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Arthur Fleck stories [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DC Extended Universe, DCU (Comics), Joker (2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Noir, Crimes &amp; Criminals, Detective Noir, F/M, Organized Crime, Past Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel, Vigilante Joker (DCU)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:07:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,952</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26495086</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sif/pseuds/Sif</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A 1920's AU story, where Joker has a detective agency. He takes cases and fights crime, when the police isn't able to help. Sophie Dumond is his secretary.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel, Sophie Dumond/Arthur Fleck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Arthur Fleck stories [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The case of the blood diamond</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The streets were filled with thieves and scum as usual, I thought as I entered the building. Crime never slept in this godforsaken town and someone had to do something about it. God knows that the police can’t handle it.</p><p>I threw my hat at the coat rack and missed, like every night.</p><p>Taking a long drag from my cigarette, I looked at my secretary, Sophie Dumond. “Go home, miss Dumond. You don’t belong in this world. Your little girl deserves better, not a mother who is endangered by the scum of Gotham, night after night.” I mumble, my voice hoarse from smoking, before dragging from my cigarette once again.</p><p>Sophie gasped and frowned, shaking her head in denial. “Not for a single second, mr. J. You need me. You know it and I know it. What would you do without me?” She urged me as she handed me my messages for the night.</p><p>“You make a good point, doll face.” I rumble as I go through them. I enter my office and scan the little notes, on which Sophie carefully scribbled all the information down for me.</p><p>One note in particular caught my attention. The diamond. That rock had been the bane of my existence ever since I started this whole bureau.</p><p>“Miss Dumond? Who’s this note from?” I call out, my voice sounding gruffer than I intended. “I don’t know, sir, the caller never mentioned her name.” She stated, coming in with a cup of coffee and a plate of dinner.</p><p>“I see.” I answer and with a deep sigh, I sit down. “You take such good care of me.”</p><p>“Yes, I do, mr. J. And don’t you forget it. Remember, the mayor wants you to cut a ribbon at the mall tonight, for saving his children from the Penguin gang.”</p><p>I ignore the plate of food and sip from my coffee, my mouth turning into a sneer at hearing the reminder of my agenda.</p><p>“I’m not doing that.”</p><p>“But sir!”</p><p>“I said I’m not doing it, dammit! I didn’t start this business for the fame, for the glory. I started it to clean the streets of Gotham! And I will, without any ceremonies or praise!”</p><p>Without another word, Sophie strode out of my office, wagging her luscious hips from side to side. That woman was going to be the death of me some day. Those legs alone could probably end me within three seconds. I’d let her, too. Good thing she was on my side.</p><p>The smell of food enters my nose and my stomach growls violently. Reluctantly I put out my cigarette and start to nibble from the potatoes and greens, but my appetite faded, as I thought about the blood diamond.</p><p>“If I don’t find the Gotham blood diamond, it’s over for me. Help me, mr. J,” the note said.</p><p>No number, no additional information. Same goes, stranger, same goes. My first case ever was to find that rock but it got lost in the shuffle when I was attacked by a gang of criminals, once I found it. I still think it was a set up, but I never found out by who. I had a suspicion and that was my only lead to go on. But I wasn’t looking forward to speaking with her. Not at all.</p><p>I dragged myself to club Napier, knowing she’d be there. She was there the last time she left me, why would she leave? She wasn’t the kind of person to change her routine, after all.</p><p>“Same recipe, Joker?” The bartender asked me. “An old-fashioned?”</p><p>“You know what I need, Billy.” I answer, sitting across from him and looking around. My drink is put in front of me and I take a big gulp, the burning sensation fitting for what the rest of me was feeling.</p><p>This club. The last time I was here, I had my heart ripped out of my chest, thrown on the floor, stepped on and chewed out. Twice. I couldn’t believe I was here again. The place was filled with mobsters, gangsters, filth with money….someone here had to know something about this diamond.</p><p>The piano music faded, as the pianist leaned forward, to speak into his microphone.</p><p>“Hello great people of Gotham!” He said warmly. I scoffed. Great people. That was a doozy. The pianist continued. “We know there is magic in this great club every night, but tonight is extra special! Please help me welcome….miss Harleen Quinzel!”</p><p>A blonde-haired woman, dressed in a red glittery dress walked on stage. Her long legs were visible through the split of her dress and they were as long and delicious as I remember them. Her gloved hand reached for the microphone and with a mischievous look in her eyes, she set in her song. I picked up my glass and moved to the tables near the stage, never taking my eyes off of her. She was a dangerous broad and I couldn’t afford to let her out of my sight.</p><p>Of course she noticed me within seconds, she was always perceptive. A smirk played along her lips as she grabbed her mic and walked into the crowd, stopping right in front of my table.</p><p>“So let people wonder</p><p>Let 'em laugh</p><p>Let 'em frown</p><p>You know I'll love you</p><p>Till the moon's upside down</p><p>Don't you remember</p><p>I was always your clown</p><p>Why try to change me now”</p><p>As her song ended, the crowd broke out in applause. I had to admit, the broad could sing. If only that was all she was good at.</p><p>Giving her microphone to a waiter, she sat down and ordered herself ‘Clover club’. She locked gazes with me and I felt my loins being set on fire.</p><p>“Puddin’.”</p><p>“Miss Quinzel.”</p><p>“Oh, come now, Puddin’, so formal. Where’s the need for that, huh?” She said with a twinkle in her bright blue eyes.</p><p>“You know why. I’m not letting you close again. You spell trouble.” I tell her, glaring at the waiter that brought her drink.</p><p>“I do?” She asked me with a pout, pretending to be hurt. Don’t let yourself get caught up, I tell myself, before clearing my throat. “I’m not here for you.” Now she gasped in shock, before smirking and sipping from her drink. Quickly I down my own, the burning sensation soothing my nerves.</p><p>“Yes, you are. You only come here for me.” Harleen stated with a shrug, sounding casual. She knew me too well.</p><p>“Well, maybe I am. But it’s not what you think. I’m looking for the Gotham blood diamond. Something tells me that you know where it is.”</p><p>“Oh and why is that? I told you back then that I had no idea where that silly rock is. Would I lie to you?” Harleen asked innocently, raising a brow cheekily.</p><p>“You’d tear me open with your knife and feed me to the wolves.” I reply, gazing at her intently. Even now, now that I knew better and had seen it all before, her mere presence intoxicated me. All I could think of was kissing her until I drove her as insane as she drove me.</p><p>Harleen leaned forward and put her hand on my leg, biting her lip in anticipation. As if she read my mind and saw how deeply I wanted to ravage her. Then she leaned forward even further, putting her mouth near my ear.</p><p>“As….appealing…as that sounds, Puddin’….I’m going to have to settle for giving you the information that you’re looking for. But not here. There are eyes everywhere and I like to live another night. Meet me at your office, in an hour.” She murmured, her lips brushing against the shell of my ear.</p><p>I swallow hard and nod, unable to say or do anything else. I pay for our drinks and make my way to the exit. My way is blocked by two goons, dressed in green suits covered in question marks.</p><p>“Hey! Didn’t we tell you not to show your mug ‘round here no more” One of them asked, while he shoved me.</p><p>“Didn’t I tell you I don’t play by the rules? What made you think I’d listen?” I throw back at him, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. It was the effect that miss Quinzel had on me.</p><p>“Well ya better! Boss doesn’t like ya!” The other goon barked and showed me his gun. I scoff and step closer, our noses practically touching. “Tell your boss I have no time tonight, I’ll deal with him some other time. Now be a good boy and let me pass.” I tell him hoarsely.</p><p>When he didn’t step out of my way, I shoved my cigarette up his nose and smirked as he danced around, screaming in pain. It caused a diversion, so I could leave unseen. This was a matter for later, not for tonight.</p><p>I hailed for a cab and noticed that driver took me on a detour across the city. “Why are you taking this route? I’m in a hurry.” I tell him gruffly. He turns towards me, no longer looking at the road and pointing his gun at me.</p><p>“Two-Face sends his regards!” He tells me, getting ready to shoot me through the head. Quickly I push the barrel of his gun to the side and knock him out with a single punch. I jump out of the moving car, rolling over the ground in grunts of pain. The car crashes and sets on fire, but I don’t bother rescuing him or alerting anyone. That piece of scum deserves to burn, if he worked for Two-Face.</p><p>Hurrying back to the office, I found miss Quinzel planted on Sophie’s desk. By the look on Sophie’s face, she was less than pleased with this fact. In fact, if looks could kill, I’d be a goner.</p><p>“Miss Quinzel. You got here quicker than I expected.” I tell her, taking out another cigarette.</p><p>“I have my ways, Puddin’. I was busying myself with this cute secretary you have. Isn’t she just the bees knees?” Harleen answered, grabbing Sophie’s chin and chuckling a tad evil, shaking Sophie’s head left and right. Sophie glared up at her and pulled back from her grasp.</p><p>Harleen winked at her before hopping off her desk and entering my office, without asking either one of us if that was okay. I clear my throat awkwardly and follow her in there, taking a long drag from my cigarette.</p><p>“Well, isn’t this nice and cozy?” Harleen states as she sits herself down on my desk. She crosses her legs, showing them off through the slit of her dress and its gets harder for me to focus.</p><p>“Where is the blood diamond, miss Quinzel? You said you had the information that I wanted.” I say, tapping on my cigarette above the ashtray, to get rid of the excess of ashes.</p><p>Harleen let out a giggle. “So impatient. So straight to the point...where’s the foreplay?” She said seductively, gasping when I grabbed her wrist and brought my face close to hers. “I’m done playing with you, dammit! Now you tell me where it is or I’ll....”</p><p>“You’ll what?” She eagerly asked, loving to egg me on. </p><p>“You don’t have information at all, do you? You just wanted to weasel your way into my life again.” I growl at her, as I let go of her wrist and start to pace around my office. She chuckled, eyeing me as if she could bite a chunk out of me any given moment. </p><p>“Give it up, Puddin’. That rock is long gone. But I’m not and we could try again. I’ll treat you good.” She said as she watched me, a predator ready to pounce. </p><p>I grab her shoulders and bring my mouth close to hers. “Why Harleen? Why do you love toying with me, huh?” I urge her to tell me, fixated on her red plump lips. </p><p>The door to my office swings open and the mayor barges in. “Fleck! Didn’t I tell you to meet me at the mall tonight?! You didn’t show up!” </p><p>“Don’t badger me, Gordon! I had other things on my mind!” I tell him, as I let go of Harleen and go back to pacing around, after pressing a half smoked cigarette into the ashtray, to extinguish it. </p><p>“Miss Quinzel.” Mayor Gordon murmurs, as he takes his hat off. “Forgive me, I did not mean to yell in front of a dame.” </p><p>“Quite alright, mayor, I was just here to report a....terrible crime.” Harleen gleefully stated, eyeing him with a sultry look. The mayor grumbled something incoherent, taken back by her beauty as any chump that came across her. Harleen left my office, after blowing me a kiss and saying goodbye to Sophie, with a satisfied cackle. </p><p>“Fleck, you can’t keep doing this. If I promise people you’re gonna be there, you have to be there! Your secretary tried to cover for you, saying you were out sick, but you were seen causing trouble at club Napier!” Gordon barked, once it was just me and him. “Now tell me what’s so important that you were unable to fulfill your duty!” </p><p>“My duty is to the city, Gordon!” I growl at him, at his insane choice of words. “Not to some ceremony, that’s only meant to make you look good!” </p><p>A voice was heard from the door opening. “I have something to say.” Sophie declared, eerily calm. </p><p>“Ah, thank you sweetheart, how about some coffee? Black, please.” Mayor Gordon said gruffly and by the deadly silence that followed, we both knew he made a mistake.<br/>
We turned towards Sophie, seeing that she was holding a gun, pointing it at us. </p><p>“Miss Dumond?” I ask, surprised at this sudden and rash act. </p><p>“How about you get some coffee around the corner, mayor Gordon? Then after that, you go home and hug your wife?” Sophie suggested, her jaw tensing as she did her best not to lose her calm. </p><p>“I-I will not be threatened! Fleck, keep her in line!” The mayor ordered but I send him a glare. “Gordon, get out. Don’t show your face around here no more, unless you can be of use to me.” I tell him, not taking my eyes off of the woman holding the deadly weapon. </p><p>Exclaiming outrage and more, mayor Gordon left my office, taking himself to safety without even realizing it. </p><p>“Miss Dumond. You have me where you want me now. Why don’t you tell me what’s what?” I ask her, a slight tremble in my voice. </p><p>“You just don’t see it, do you?” She murmured, her voice just louder than a whisper. </p><p>“What? That you wrote the note? I’ve known that all along.” I tell her with a shrug, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. This seemed to throw her off slightly. </p><p>“You knew I wrote the note?” She asked, surprised, lowering the gun a little. </p><p>“About the blood diamond? Yeah, I did. I decided to try and find it anyway. So we can both put this case behind us. I never knew it was so special to you.” I confirm, sitting down on my desk. </p><p>“No, you never know! You never see! I just wish I was as special to you as that stupid rock!” She bellowed, holding the gun with two hands now as if she could shoot any second. Her hands trembled. </p><p>“Is there something you need to get across, miss Dumond?” I ask her, slowly blowing out the smoke so it would hang around me like a protective cloak. Nonsense, but it was all I had in this moment. </p><p>Sophie’s mouth turned into a sneer. “Yes, I do! I am nothing to you! And I am so, so sick of it! I know I’m that horrible Quinnzel woman, but look at what she did to you! Still you’d lay down on the train tracks, if she asked you to!” </p><p>I couldn’t say she was wrong. I knew she wasn’t. </p><p>“What makes you think you’re nothing me?” I ask her, holding her gaze and slowly standing up. Her hands started to tremble even more. </p><p>“Everyone that comes in here treats me like the silly secretary! You try to send me home night after night, while I’m the only one that has ever cared! Who makes you dinner? Who keeps this office running? I do! You never even bothered to ask me if I had something to do with that rock disappearing! What does silly little Sophie know, right?” </p><p>“What do you know about it?” I calmly inquire, taking a step forward and then another one. </p><p>She doesn’t realize that I’m getting closer, or she doesn’t care, but either way she does not comment on it. Instead, she reaches into the pocket of her yellow checkered dress. Her other hand is still firmly holding the gun, I am not out of the woods yet. As she pulls her hand back, she smugly shows me the diamond, the rock that has been tormenting me from day one. </p><p>“When?” I ask her hoarsely, taking another step. I’m close now. She still doesn’t act. </p><p>“You came to the office, you told me you found it. All you had to do was deliver it to your client. I just knew that Quinn was up to no good, so I hid it. But you were sooo convinced that she was the one that outsmarted you, that I didn’t say anything. And I was right, you were attacked by that gang!” Sophie finally admitted, her cheeks red with adrenaline or shame, who could be sure at this point? “You should have known I took care of things. That I was special. But you never thought of me as special, did you?” </p><p>I snatch the gun out of her hand and pin her body between my own and the wall. Her eyes widen in shock and fear, as they fill with tears. </p><p>“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tears, miss Dumond? You have been the only one able to trick me like this.” I tell her, my mouth hovering above hers. “And thinking you’re not special to me? Didn’t I spare you? That one bad day...do you remember?” </p><p>I could see that Sophie’s mind went back to that day, where I had been in her apartment as my old self, telling her about the bad day I had. She had no idea who I was back then, even though she had never left my mind since I first met her. </p><p>“H-How did you know? That the note was mine?” She asked in a small voice, wondering if she put herself in danger by all of this. </p><p>“You’re the only one that calls me ‘mr. J.’, Sophie.” I tell her. I see her shudder, a mixture of fear and arousal of me using her first name. “Although I’m starting to suspect that sparing you might have been a mistake...” </p><p>“Please...I’d never hurt you...I just needed you to see me...” She whispered, a few tears running down her cheeks. </p><p>My mouth catches hers in a heated kiss as I gather her into my arms and I feel her relax. She’s not in danger, I’d never lay a hand on her. Not like that, at least. </p><p>“I see you now, Sophie...and you’re going to be the death of me...” I pant, after pulling back from the kiss. Then I go right back in for more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Wayne mystery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mr. J. regrets sharing the night with Sophie, but soon finds just how fragile things can be, when Bruce Wayne steps into his office.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as the light hit my eyes, I knew I made a mistake. The sheets felt strange on my skin. I wasn’t home. Groggily opening up my eyes, I saw my secretary lying next to me with a content smile around her lips. I could imagine where it came from, I made sure she was properly satisfied before we went to sleep. The only thing that was left now…was regret. This was going to cause trouble, I could smell it. </p><p>Like clockwork, Sophie started to shift and wake up, her eyes lighting up as she saw me next to her. </p><p>“Morning..” She mumbled, still not completely awake. </p><p>“Morning, miss Dumond.” I replied, short and formal. The little twinkle in her gaze disappeared and she pouted at me. </p><p>“So formal, mr. J. There’s no need for that anymore, right?” </p><p>I didn’t point out she was just as formal with me as I was with her. I sighed and sat up, planting my head between my hands with a grunt of frustration. My make-up was everywhere. </p><p>Sophie got out of bed and threw on a robe, since she had slept next to me without a stitch on her body. Quickly she filled a glass bowl with hot water, in the tiny apartment she lived in. Grabbing a washing cloth, she knelt in front of me and wanted to wash my face clean of greasepaint. </p><p>Quickly I grabbed her wrist, before she was able to put the cloth on my face. </p><p>“No.” I said forcefully. </p><p>Wide-eyed she stared at me. “I just want to clean you up, I’ve seen you without your make up before, haven’t I?” The way her voice trembled made it clear to me that she knew what I was about to do. I was about to break her heart. </p><p>“Miss Dumond, this was a mistake. You know it and I know it. It was the heat of the moment and it cannot happen again. I need you to show up on work tonight, not mentioning this again. Can you do that?” I asked her gruffly, giving her an intent stare. </p><p>She dropped the cloth and tears welled up in her eyes. Then she nodded and I finally let her go with a nod. “Good.” </p><p>This was a terrible move, I knew it. But how could I ever make her happy? Her and her little girl deserved better. It was bad enough that she had to work for me. Would I really put her through putting up with me before and after work as well? I don’t think so. </p><p>As if the big guy upstairs had it in for me, the door of Sophie’s apartment was being unlocked. “Sophie! We’re here!” A voice called out. No doubt Sophie’s sister, Valerie. She watched Gigi the nights that Sophie worked for me and dropped her off again the next morning so Sophie could bring her to school. Damn. This was just what I needed right now. </p><p>Quickly putting on my pants, I zipped up just in time before Gigi came running into the bedroom. “Mommy!” She happily exclaimed, running into her mother’s arms. I lighted a cigarette, ignoring Sophie’s death stare. </p><p>“Hi there, mister.” Gigi stated once she saw me, eyeing me up and down. “Hello there, little lady.” I replied. God, this was awkward. When Valerie came to see who Gigi greeted, it became very clear to me that she and Sophie were sisters. I received the exact death stare, again. Blowing out smoke, I searched for the rest of my clothes and put them on. </p><p>“Who’s this? I didn’t know you had company over.” Valerie said as she eyed me up and down. “Valerie, this is my boss, mr. J.” Sophie said through gritted teeth, knowing very well that Valerie knew who I was. Her sister was merely making a point. How dare she have a strange man over, while she was babysitting her daughter? </p><p>“I’m off. See you at work.” I grumbled and picked up my hat, from the ground. I put it on and took a last long drag of my cigarette before walking out the door. </p><p>“Nice to meet you!” Valerie called out after me, but I didn’t answer. What did it matter? Manners had been out the door the moment she saw me with my shirt off, if you ask me. </p><p>The day went by too slow and too fast at the same time. On one hand I couldn’t wait to see Sophie again. Even though I had to keep her protected from my black heart, she still held a special place in it. On the other hand I was worried this had damaged the bond between us. There was only one way to find out, I thought as I entered the building. </p><p>To my great dismay, I found that she was not alone in the office. A young man dressed to the nine was leaning against her desk, looking over his shoulder to talk to her. “Nice office you got here, miss, but wouldn’t you prefer a job that better suited your qualities?” He asked her, grinning at her as he eyed her up and down.</p><p>I threw my hat at the coat rack and missed. Damn. </p><p>“Can I help you?” I asked the man gruffly, not liking his leering eyes towards my Sophie. </p><p>“Mr. J.!” Sophie said with a fake pout, standing up as she went to the little kitchen nearby. “That is no way to talk to your new client.” She added, as she started to prepare coffee. </p><p>“Follow me.” I grumbled, not liking her perky attitude towards this stranger. I had this coming, of course, but still. The young man followed, seeming rather amused by all of this.  </p><p>“Feisty little thing. Aren’t you afraid that someone might...steal her away?” He asked me with a smirk as he sat across from me, at my desk. </p><p>“She knows her place.” I threw back, narrowing my eyes at him. “So. What can I do for you? You have a case for me?” </p><p>He nodded. “A good one too. My assistant, miss Kyle. I suspect that she’s bad news. I want to fire her, but I’m afraid there will be some sort of revenge, if I do.” </p><p>Frowning, I lit up a cigarette and sat back in my chair, the smoke circling around me. </p><p>“That is not my area of expertise, I’m afraid. How could I be useful to you? Sounds like you would do better asking for police protection or something. Isn’t that so, mister Wayne?” </p><p>Again he smirked at me. “So you do know me.” </p><p>Of course I did. Bruce Wayne. Gotham’s golden boy. He had every politician and corrupt cop in his pocket. Which made his appearance here all the more strange. If he wanted to make a woman disappear, you could bet on it that she was gone already. </p><p>“But you raise a good point. As we know I am a beloved citizen of our beautiful city. Why would I need the help of some low-life scum that’s half a criminal himself?” Bruce asked innocently. I was about to reach for my gun and teach this golden boy a lesson when the door to my office flung open and Sophie entered, carrying a tray with coffee on it. </p><p>“Here you are, sir, a nice hot cup of coffee.” She said in a husky tone of voice. When I was about to ask her to tone it down, I realized that she wasn’t speaking to me, but to Wayne. </p><p>She just sent me a death glare and turned around, swaying her hips from side to side as she strode out of my office. </p><p>“Well, isn’t she attentive.” Bruce remarked, rather entertained by this display. He added some sugar and cream to his cup and sipped, staring at me from over the rim of his cup. </p><p>“You haven’t answered yet. Why do you need me?” I asked him sternly, taking a sip from my own coffee without adding anything extra to it. </p><p>“I can’t be linked to anything, Joker. You get that. I need some hard proof that she can’t be trusted. Then I have a case against her and the police won’t need to plant any evidence. Capiche?” </p><p>“You’re despicable.” I said with a scoff, tilting my head. “What makes you think I would say ‘yes’ to that?” </p><p>With an intent gaze, Wayne reached inside of his jacket pocket and took out a large stack of money, throwing it on my desk. “That. For starters. On top of that, I’ll offer your secretary a job, if I’m not pleased. Something tells me that she wont turn it down.” </p><p>He finished his cup of coffee, took the stack of cash off my desk and tucked it away again. “I have a letter for you, with all of the information you need. I’ll leave it with Sophie. I am going to assume you are taking the case. Good evening, mister J.” </p><p>After reading the letter, I went on my way to Wayne Enterprise, the company of Gotham’s golden boy. I knew the passcodes to get inside now, so I’d avoid the security system this way. The night guard was supposed to know I was coming, so he wouldn’t give trouble either. I entered the building, sent the guard a nod and went to Wayne’s office. His assistant worked right next to him, so that was the best place to start. </p><p>“Can I help you, sir?” A sultry voice sounded, after I opened up the first cabinet. Damn. I didn’t even have a chance to peak. </p><p>A women with blue eyes and blonde curls, lips painted bright red and a black dress that practically stuck to her body, walked my way. She bared her teeth at me in an eerie smile and I knew that I was prey in the corner. </p><p>“I take it that you are Wayne’s assistant?” I ask her, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. I blow the smoke her way, but she doesn’t even blink. “I am, yes.” She confirmed, tilting her head as she took me in. “I bring him his coffee every morning, black with a splash of milk.” </p><p>“I’m sure you do more than that.” I throw back at her, slowly circling her. I notice that she is copying my bodily movements, but hers are so much more fluid. Feline-like, almost. </p><p>Suddenly the doors to the office were slammed open and Bruce Wayne entered, gun drawn and ready to fire. “So. Thought you could come into my office at night, huh Joker? Rob me of information? Threatening my assistant, miss Kyle? Are you alright, Selina?” He asked, panting heavily. </p><p>Selina takes a step back and chuckles. “Puuurrrrrfect, thank you.” </p><p>“Put your gun on the floor. Now.” Bruce demands, when I pull out my own weapon to defend myself. Muttering under my breath, I do as he says. “What’s your game, Wayne?” I demand to know. “Why hire me this evening, then barge in here 30 minutes later?” </p><p>Bruce grinned, looking like a madman. “I have no memory of hiring you at all. All I know is that there is a leak in my company. Someone stole my passcodes and gave them to you. You are in here at night, the guard already warned the police so they are on their way.” </p><p>Then it hit me. This had been a trap all along. He didn’t want me to frame his assistant. He wanted to frame me. </p><p>“Black with a dash of milk. You tried to warn me.” I whispered, looking back at Selina Kyle. She just gazed at me, her eyes stoic and void of emotion. She knew he didn’t take his coffee like that, I had seen it myself earlier that night. I hadn’t picked up on her clue and now I was in danger. </p><p>“Oh, I bet she did. You two timing....” Bruce started to growl, pacing back and forth, swaying his gun around. </p><p>“I’m two timing?” Selina asked, suddenly fired up. “You concocted this little plan so you could frame the detective and hoped to get me shot or arrested! You never notice me! I am at your meetings, I can hear you!” She shouted at him. </p><p>“I had to get you out of the way! You didn’t approve of the plans we made for the company!” Bruce now threw back in her face. </p><p>“Of course not, you were going to poison the whole lake!” Seline shrieked, visibly upset. </p><p>“I get it now. You were going to frame me, get her shot or arrested as well, so you could push through with your little plan without either of us standing in the way.” I sum up, a little impressed by how diabolical this plan was. </p><p>“You will go with the police as planned, or that secretary of yours is as good as mine!” Bruce demanded through gritted teeth. I was about to attack, no matter if it would involve a bullet, but again the doors of the office were slammed open. </p><p>“I don’t think so, mister Wayne. Me and my team heard the whole thing.” Mayor Gordon exclaimed, a team of police men following close behind. “Lower your gun!” He commanded and Bruce obeyed, without objection, just the fire in his eyes. </p><p>“How?” He growled, needing to know where his perfect plan had failed him. Two policemen stepped forward, grabbed his gun and started to cuff him. </p><p>“We got an anonymous tip that things were about to go down here tonight. Also, Joe won’t be taking your calls anymore, mister Wayne. In fact, he might have to join you in jail.” </p><p>“Joe?” I ask the mayor, unsure what this meant. </p><p>Gordon scoffed. “It seems that one of our policemen, Joe, had been covering up for mister Wayne for a while now. It didn’t take much to see that, it just needed to be pointed out. On top of that, we just heard mister Wayne and miss Kyle confess through the whole building. Miss Kyle, I’m afraid your wanted for questioning as well, but I do see your position.” He explained as another policeman stepped forward, to cuff her as well.</p><p>Selina Kyle stepped forward, allowing the man to do his job without any fuss, also revealing that she had been standing in front of the intercom, that was obviously on ‘speaker’. She might have just saved my behind by doing that. </p><p>“How did you do it? Work for a psycho like that and not be scared?” I asked, impressed by how cunning she had been in a dire situation. </p><p>She scoffed. </p><p>“It’s the so-called ‘normal’ guys that who always let you down. Sickos never scare me. Least they’re committed.” </p><p>I let out a bitter laugh. “You got me there, miss Kyle, you got me there. I will do my best to do my part in getting you out soon.” </p><p>“Can’t wait.” She murmured in that sultry voice again, before being taken away by the police as well. I wait until the building is cleared before I go outside, seeing the night guard shot. Huh. Guess Wayne was going to frame me for that as well. This really was my lucky night. </p><p>That thought was confirmed when I saw Sophie standing outside the building, deeply buried in her winter coat. </p><p>“You called Gordon, didn’t you?” I ask her, a small smile playing around my lips. She nodded. </p><p> “I did. I peeked into that envelope and just knew that slime ball was up to something. I told Gordon to check with the police and they found that one guy fidgeting around his phone, as if he was nervous for a call. When that call came, another cop answered and he lost it. They just knew something was up.” </p><p>“You saved me. After how I treated you.” I murmur, wiping a lock out of her face. </p><p>“Your jealousy in the office showed me that you weren’t being honest before. You do have feelings for me, why else would you care if Wayne flirted with me?” She pointed out smugly.<br/>
“What would I do without you, miss Dumond?” I ask with a smirk and kiss her intently.</p>
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